I am pretty sure that orangutans don't listen to techno.

Australia is a special place. It is the flattest, hottest, driest, most desiccated, infertile and climatically aggressive of all the inhabited continents. There are a lot of things in Australia that could kill you, if you are not eaten by crocodiles or sharks, the ten most venomous snakes also inhabit this island. Don't mess with Texas? Don't mess with Oz mate!!! Any country that was founded by over 160,000 British convicts has to be considered to be one of the most badass countries on the planet.

I have only been here a few weeks, so it is too early to make any judgement about the culture, but my expectations have already been exceeded. Admittedly, I didn't know much about Australia before I came here other than Australians like to drink and fight. I can verify that they like to drink, a lot, but sadly I have yet to see someone get their ass kicked. Because of the accents, I find it absolutely impossible to determine if people are ever serious, so I just assume everybody is joking all of the time. Here are a few other things that I have learned about Australia.

1. Kangaroos are kind of lazy. I haven't seen many, but the roos that I have seen mostly just lay around all day like Homer Simpson after a six pack of Duff.

2. In Australia, apparently, there is crying in basketball. I coached a kids camp last week and the amount of crying was unprecedented. Maybe my expectations are just too high after working with the iron forged Macedonian youth.

3. If you want a whopper you need to go to Hungry Jacks. Somewhere in Australia there was already a burger king who copyrighted the name first.

4. Electronic music is not just for Euros anymore. Although there is a huge punk movement in Australia, electronic music has definitely has a strong influence here. Every other radio station plays some kind of dance/trance/dubstep/etc. Even as I was watching a special on orangutans on television, between the babblings of Jane Goodall (who still looks smoking hot for someone closing in on 80) they were blasting techno music. I know that they have taught chimps to use iPads, but do we have to make these poor monkeys listen to Armin Van Buuren?