Mystery Solved

That man walking my street with the machete is Marcos, the neighborhood gardner. While all you soft people in the states use landmowers and hedgetrimmers to beautify your yards, Marcos gets everything done with a rusty machete. Marcos seems a little on edge to me when I talked to him, and I don't think it is out of the question that he floips his shit and uses that machete on something else than the weeds in my yard.

Things I have learned in Ticoland

1. Hannah Montana and High School musical backpacks are huge here. I saw 4 today alone. Normally a grown man riding a bike and rocking a Hannah Montana backpack would be just cause for him to surrender his man card. However, this seems to be perfectly normal here.

2. I need to stop trying to do the splits. Have you ever seen a guy on a dance floor who tries something that he has no business doing and often ends up hurting himself or the people around him. Well that is me, everytime I get in full dance mode and try to end my dance routine by jumping up in the air, ending in the splits, and tearing the shit out of my groin.

3.Never fall asleep with a crazy woman in your house. This one seems like common sense but sometimes a woman is so crazy that you would rather leave your own bed and pass out on the couch just to avoid dealing with her craziness. Wrong move buddy. The possibilities of disaster are endless here. I have never had someone try to sexually take advantage of me before, until this past weekend, when this nutjob repeatedly tried to twang on my wang while I was just trying to get some sleep. While many people may not believe that this is a bad thing, just take my word. It was terible.

4. I need to make some changes in my life. I am a grown man with a masters degree in international business and a fair amount of intelligence. Yet I am playing basketball for a job and living in a shack in Costa Rica next to a hippie who wears, not one, but 2 hawaiian shirts at a time. It is time to grow up and use my life to make a difference for God. Like the great MJ once said, "I am starting with the man in the mirror. I am asking him to make a change."

Back in Action!!! return of the peoples champion

It has been 4 long years, but finally Flip Diesel has come back to the internet! Why the return? well..IT DOESN'T MATTER why The Jeez returned, but the millions and millions of Flip's fans called for it. If you didn't watch wrestling during the late 90's the previous rant probably didn´t make any sense, much like my life. The last time I ended my blog, I left off somewhere in Mexico right before things got interesting, and I developed a new level of drunkeness that carried off and on for 4 years through several different countries. Now I am in an internet cafe in Costa Rica in the mountains outside of San Jose with a couple more degrees and the ability to speak spanish that I lacked when I last wrote a blog. I just arrived yesterday after taking care of some business for my O.J. size legal battle against the state of South Carolina. The neighborhood I live in is pretty cool. House is right next to a stream up in the mountains. Havent seen to many good looking chicas around, but there is a guy with a machete who has been walking the streets. I am not quite confortable enough with my spanish to ask him why, but if I had to take a guess, I think he is a chicken killer. I will keep you posted. Any way I gotta go, more adventuras to come.