Strumica is maybe the 7th or 8th biggest city in Macedonia, but according to everybody in Strumica it is the 2nd biggest party city next to the capital. A few months ago I wrote this: After living in Strumica, I have concluded these to be the favorite activities of Macedonians (in this order): Drinking coffee, betting on soccer, making up ridiculous stories about other people, flossin babies in public, making out in the park, smoking EVERYWHERE, walking in circles, telling gypsies to go away, backgammon, listening to 80's music, drinking more coffee, watching basketball. If I had to redo this list I would add "standing around tables in night clubs trying to look cool" somewhere at the top of the list. I don't know how people ever meet in this country, as they all post up at the same table and stare at each other most of the time. I also see very little dancing except for the occasional guy doing a fist pump. I think dancing has been relegated to weddings and private parties, where Macedonians join arms in a circle and kick their legs in unison like some kind of transformer (again another circle!) Macedonians are a very group orientated culture. Historically, the area consisted of various clans who banded together in order to survive in a crossroads of different civilizations. You can still see this in the culture today, as friends tend to stay in their social groups and are very protective of one another. When it comes to relationships, that's a whole different world. I feel like many macedonians are in relationships just to be in a relationship. Some girls have no problem cheating on their men, in fact the girls who have been the most aggressive with me have been girls in a relationship. I have never been in a society where public image is so important, yet people are so willing to compromise their moral values behind the scenes. If I talk to a girl when she is in front of her friends, her friends will pressure her and joke and say "you are talking to the american!" and immediately become defensive and shy. If I was to talk to this same girl alone in the bathroom or in a message, she has no hesitation in speaking with me. Social pressure is ridiculous! I am working for a sports mission so would be against company policy (the Bible) for me to take random girls home, so my luck with the ladies in Strumica has been minimal. Unless you are talking about teenage girls, which to them I am like the Justin Bieber of Strumica. I am a huge heartthrob in the teenage community, and I am constantly getting asked to take pictures (evidenced by the photo to the left). Ok so maybe I drew in the words, but that doesn't mean this girl wasn't thinking it.
Yesterday my picture made a Macedonian newspaper under a write up for the game. I have no idea what this article says accept that my name is spelled "Џон Чепел" in jibberish and that I scored 24 points and grabbed 15 rebounds. That may not be entirely accurate because sometimes I suspect that they use chimpanzees to track the statistics. This was easily the longest game I have ever played in my life. Not only did this game require two overtimes to complete, it was also delayed an hour at halftime when a jumpshot (not a dunk) caused the rim to fall to the ground and elicit loud cheers from the drunken crowd. Then, the janitor went on a wild scramble to find spare parts to reattach the rim while we kept warm by joining the opposing team's basket. After 4 hours it ended and thankfully we wont have to see this team again, because now the league has been cut to the final 6 and this team did not make it. Other memories from this game that I will carry with me include: the drunken old men playing tubas and drums making it imposible to hear anything, and when I went to catch a lob at the end of regulation and the opposing center undercut me causing me to land directly on my tailbone and proceeded to intentionally knee me in the back as I was struggling up, and then said to me, "watch yourself." A true gentleman.
Macedonian culture has been around for hundreds of years, long before the United States even existed. However while most of the world progressed to the cultural landscape we know today, Macedonia seems to be stuck somewhere between 1975 and 1987. 80's ballad rock bands like Simply Red and Bon Jovi dominate the airwaves, and Run DMCesque track suits are fashionably in. The buildings also have an weird old school vibe. I am now living in a remodeled room attached to the sports hall where our team plays. While I can't say that it is an upgrade over my apartment from last year, it is definitely more modern, and would not be a good example of typical Macedonian interior decorating. So I will take you on a tour back in time to the year 2010, to give you an idea of how I lived before I moved into a glorified dorm room. If you ever move to Macedonia, this is how you should decorate.
This is the piano I spent a lot of time staring at. Get one of these!
You are not a baller in Macedonia unless you have a nice vhs player.
You will also want a tv that hasn't worked in 10 years.
and a state-of-the-art heating unit.
and of course sewing thread in a vase surounded by angels.
Also, make sure that you hang a lamp in the middle of your living room at chest level.
Your home is not complete without a violin clock and religious holographic trading card
Make sure you also strategic place your two most creepy collectables next to each other. For example a plate featuring an evil cat playing by the ocean, and a scary doll.
You may also want to display your war hero themed tea set.
You should always keep an ash tray and coffee cup man on top of your refrigerator.
If you break something, dont worry it's not yours, just hide the evidence.
If you are too tall for a conventional bed, make one out of a rock hard box.
A painting is a nice touch. This one is titled: Waterdamaged Pieceofcrap
Finally, an oddly shaped vase centered between gray and gold elephants is ESSENTIAL!
"Tiger always gives 110 percent. That is why he gave 100 percent to his wife and still had 10 percent left over for his alleged mistresses." - Stephen Colbert
Today this alledged photo of Tiger Woods at a Mississippi sex rehab clinic looking like the shoe bomber in hiding. After his unthinkable fall from grace, this may be step 2 in his climb back to respectability. You may question why Tiger Woods would sleep with Pancake house waitresses and Club managers when he has a beautiful supermodel wife at home. Well, if you are reading this, you are probably not Tiger Woods, and you have no idea what it is like to have thousands of women chasing after you everyday. Man has 3 basic natural instincts: eat, sleep and sex. A man could eat filet mignon every day, but eventually he may just want a hotdog or a taco. If Tiger is in sex rehab, it is possible that his sex drive may be more powerful than his other natural instincts. In hunting the chase is often more exhilerating than the kill. Tiger is extremely competitive, and it has also been revealed that when it comes to women, he likes to have his cake and eat it too. He has also been one of the most private and secretive superduperstars of our time. While it may be surprising on the sheer number of women he has cheated with, nobody should be surprised about his hidden alternative lifestyle.
"What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Santa stopped at three ho's."
MY PLAN TO SAVE TIGER: PLAN A Tiger's actions have cost him millions of dollars and created a horde of pseudo-celebrities of the women who have claimed to have slept with him. He cannot change that, but he can change the Tiger image. This story was so huge because Tiger had always been so guarded, so secluded, and nobody really knew what he was like. He pretty much needs to go to the opposite end of the spectrum with everything he has done.You simply can not trust a person who never reveals anything about themself. If Tiger wants to regain the respect of the media and the public, he needs to come out of hiding. He needs to become super-outspoken about everything: race, politics, his ladies, etc. He is not going to save his marrage, so he might as well go ahead and get divorced and embrace a ladies man, playboy lifestyle. If he becomes this hyper-aggressive honest outspoken character, he becomes a much more interesting person, and the media and fans start to love him again. Then people look at this incident as the turning point, where Tiger became "humanized" and embraced the person that he really is. PLAN B Find Jesus. AKA The Brit Hume plan.
Haiti is probably the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, and a disaster like this is devastating. Please pray and support the people of this country anyway that you can.
Strumica is maybe the 7th or 8th biggest city in Macedonia, but according to everybody in Strumica it is the 2nd biggest party city next to the capital. A few months ago I wrote this: After living in Strumica, I have concluded these to be the favorite activities of Macedonians (in this order): Drinking coffee, betting on soccer, making up ridiculous stories about other people, flossin babies in public, making out in the park, smoking EVERYWHERE, walking in circles, telling gypsies to go away, backgammon, listening to 80's music, drinking more coffee, watching basketball. If I had to redo this list I would add "standing around tables in night clubs trying to look cool" somewhere at the top of the list. I don't know how people ever meet in this country, as they all post up at the same table and stare at each other most of the time. I also see very little dancing except for the occasional guy doing a fist pump. I think dancing has been relegated to weddings and private parties, where Macedonians join arms in a circle and kick their legs in unison like some kind of transformer (again another circle!) Macedonians are a very group orientated culture. Historically, the area consisted of various clans who banded together in order to survive in a crossroads of different civilizations. You can still see this in the culture today, as friends tend to stay in their social groups and are very protective of one another. When it comes to relationships, that's a whole different world. I feel like many macedonians are in relationships just to be in a relationship. Some girls have no problem cheating on their men, in fact the girls who have been the most aggressive with me have been girls in a relationship. I have never been in a society where public image is so important, yet people are so willing to compromise their moral values behind the scenes. If I talk to a girl when she is in front of her friends, her friends will pressure her and joke and say "you are talking to the american!" and immediately become defensive and shy. If I was to talk to this same girl alone in the bathroom or in a
message, she has no hesitation in speaking with me. Social pressure is ridiculous! I am working for a sports mission so would be against company policy (the Bible) for me to take random girls home, so my luck with the ladies in Strumica has been minimal. Unless you are talking about teenage girls, which to them I am like the Justin Bieber of Strumica. I am a huge heartthrob in the teenage community, and I am constantly getting asked to take pictures (evidenced by the photo to the left). Ok so maybe I drew in the words, but that doesn't mean this girl wasn't thinking it.
and a state-of-the-art heating unit. 
